Through this veil...

Wells of sadness reside within this fragile heart of mine... deep-seated and long-standing, indeed. My life is utterly coloured by this... unfathomable sadness. Melancholy is the fabric of my soul, gives deeper meaning to the world around, clears my vision with tears, strengthens my resolve. But ever seeing the world through this lens, this veil, does something to a man. Not that I would change anything, mind you. Feeling this life so deeply seems to be my path... and one that I have learnt to embrace over the years. And so, quietly determined, I soldier onwards... purposefully deliberate in word and deed. How else is one to live?

‎In his essay 'On Fairy-Stories', J.R.R. Tolkien writes:

"The realm of fairy-story is wide and deep and high and filled with many things: all manner of beast and birds are found there; shoreless seas and stars uncounted; beauty that is an enchantment, and an ever-present peril; both joy and sorrow as sharp as swords."

For myself, I would choose to see our existence in this manner over any other. Indeed, something deep within me says that this is the only way that I can truly see aright the world in which we live and breathe and die. Not as fantasy but as undeniable... truth.

And so I continue to long after those things which are real and mourn the fact that so very much unreal fills this realm. Yet something in me continues to hope, to wish, to dream...

How I wish that you could understand...

Namárië,
Lamar

Starlit...

It only takes the smallest amount of Light, you know... to give guidance in the Dark. Out where I live, away from most of the harsh, artificial, city-light, you can see the darkened Field of Night pin-pricked with innumerable points of Illumination. There are times that the sight of this gives me pause and I am genuinely awe-struck anew with the Beauty of the Night... and of the Starlight it brings along. There is deep Magic and inexplicable Mystery to the Stars that I cannot rightly ignore. And while I dearly love the Dawn and the coming of the Sun each morn, the Night brings something else, something... more pensive, I'd say. Will Man ever pine after the Stars of Heaven? The Light amongst the Darkness? I wonder...

Namárië,
Lamar