"Tell me, who are you, alone and nameless?"
Tom Bombadil - The Lord of the Rings - Book I / Chapter
Tom Bombadil's question pierces right to the heart of the matter, does it not? And I would venture to say that, more often than not, most of us don't take the time to think about such things. Maybe we should. In fact, I dare...
April 30th - May 2nd, 2010 will forever stand apart for me. You see, during this particular weekend I learned something very profound... and found something that had been so elusive to me that I had nearly given up the hope of finding. No, I
had given up hope. And herein lies part of what is so profound to me. It has been in my experience lately that sometimes one must give up even hope to find it. I will do my best to let loose my grip upon it in future times and as need may require. For I have come to see that sometimes our very hope is our greatest enemy. Mind you, I do not intend a hopelessness that lays down and dies but a hopelessness more akin to complete and utter surrender... of laying it aside and continuing to continue, so to speak. With no expectation, no thought of reward or even of and end,
"Still we have to try. It's no worse than I expected. I never hoped to get across. I can't see any hope of it now. But I've still got to do the best I can."
Frodo Baggins - The Lord of the Rings - Book VI / Chapter II
Simply put, I must continue to do what is right simply because it is the right thing to do. Only in giving up all hope can we be receptive to the deepest truth and find "hope unlooked for"... real hope and not our predisposed notions of it.
"There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."
The Lord of the Rings - Book VI / Chapter II
Sorry. Where was I? Ah! The incomparable weekend... right!
Every year my wife attends the GHEA Homeschool Convention. It's a Girls Only Weekend for her and some other of our good friends. This particular year, Liam and I were left to spend our weekend together, as Jessica took Maegan (our oldest) and Jaina (our youngest) with her. The past couple of years I've let others kind of chart the course of our "boys" weekend, but this year I decided to let everyone know that Liam was strictly "off limits"... this year would be just the two of us and no one else. In sincerest honesty, I should've worked to have it this way to begin with. I pray that our Father/Son Weekend remains an annual tradition... or better, that it grow and spill over into other weekends (or days) throughout the entire year! How can something so wonderful even be described? To say that it was one of the very best weekends of my life is no exaggeration or understatement.
And in spending my time and energy intently focused only on Liam, I learned a lot about myself. Chiefly, that
this is really and truly what I am here for: To be a son, a husband, a father, a friend... without peer. Rather, if that were honestly my goal, seldom would I think only of myself! No, I am here to simply... serve.
This is what life is all about.
So many of the things we value truly mean very little when you really think about it. The time we are given is a fleeting, precious gift. Make memories that matter.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
Gandalf - The Lord of the Rings - Book I / Chapter II
I endeavour not to squander it...
And so, as the lights went down in the theater before How to Train Your Dragon, I found the very thing that I'd given up hope in finding. For so long I'd been searching for a Samwise to my Frodo... but I had it all wrong. My son,
he's Frodo... and I'm his Sam. Wherever he leads, I'll follow or I'll carry him if necessary. I'll watch over him and protect him. I'll never give up on him. I'll be here waiting... available. All because I love him... more than my own self.
As the knowledge of this realisation swept over me, my eyes filled with tears. I put my arm around his little shoulders and hugged him tightly. My boy. Emotions were heavy for me that day. The movie being essentially about a father and son relationship didn't help that, and we both cried together at least twice. But I didn't mind, really... I was proud that we could share it together. All said, our Father/Son Weekend was phenomenal... unequalable. And although Liam says he had a great time, I'd still say the greater time had was mine. I mean, it's not every weekend that clarity comes on so... brilliantly.
I titled this blog "The Window on the West" mainly because it is in this particular Chapter of The Lord of the Rings that Frodo and Sam meet Faramir... three men, fictional though they may be, that I highly esteem. After their meeting, they find out much about each other but more, methinks, about themselves... hence I use the title here to invoke a little something of that. Or, at least, that is my hope.
And so, in answer to Tom Bombadil's question, "Who are you, alone and nameless?" I can offer only this: I'm closer still to finding out...
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say...
Bilbo Baggins - The Lord of the Rings - Book I / Chapter I
Be blessed,
Lamar
